Happiness is not what we own or desire. These things always change.
Do you want a big home? Do you want to win the lottery?
Who doesn’t? Will it make you happy?
If you want these things and get it, you may feel happy. This is but a temporary boost that will pass with the moment. These are changing targets and once we reach a destination we will change our goal. On the other hand, if you want these and do not get it, you may feel unhappy, but really, nothing has changed in your life.
We all want to achieve happiness. We spend our lives chasing material things hoping they will get us closer to the goal of a happy and contented life. Yes, money, a good home, great food, children, solid relationships, good education, etc are important components of life but we cannot always control all these aspects. There are however, a few simple things that are in our control that can help us achieve a higher state of happiness in our lives. There are ways to change your life for the better.
Five things you can control to change your life and be happy
1. Accept the facts as they are. Do not get frustrated trying to change things that are not to your liking. Facts are facts and you cannot wish them away. If you can find a way to improve on it, than go for it but there is no point in stressing over what you cannot control.
Maybe your young, smart and adorable kid is just not that good at the piano, no matter how much he practices, and will never be the virtuoso that you are. Could his creativity be channeled in a different direction? And what if your employee is not able to get that report just right, even after the many times you sent it back to her with your comments? You could choose to get upset, or you could accept her limitations and work together to improve on it.
The way you choose to react can either make you and people around you happy or make them miserable.
2. Focus on what you have and not on what you don’t have. This is a very important concept to ponder. We tend to think of things that we don’t have and in the process we forget to enjoy what we have. Most of us (those who can access and read this over the internet) are lucky to lead a lifestyle that over 90% of the world population only dreams of. Unfortunately, consumerism is now what has started to define our societies.
You may want a bigger house with separate rooms for each kid but if you take a look back at your current residence, there are many fond memories of your life in there and the ‘coziness’ may have even made some of those memories possible. You already own most of the things that you really need and can bring happiness to you. Cherish what you have. And cherish your friends and family.
“I was complaining about not having a shoe till I saw a man who had no leg”.
3. Enjoy every moment. You do not have to achieve something to feel the joy. Journey is always more enjoyable than destination. Our life is a journey and even though we want to achieve lot of things and have set too many goals for ourselves we should still have fun reaching those goals. One thing for sure is that once we reach the goal we set a different expectation and our joy fades. In retrospect, the experience of working towards the goal will likely stay on in your memory longer than the importance of that goal itself
“When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It’s to enjoy each step along the way” – Wayne Dyer
4. Desire small things that are going to happen. It may be as simple as a cold drink of water after a workout. If you can be happy with very small things like seeing the sun in the morning, you are sure to be happy for most of the days and that becomes a habit. While working if I get a bit stressed I think of the evening when I will meet my son and play with him. That small thought gives me lot of energy and something to cheer up.
“Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us.” – Charlotte Bronte
5. Be humble and think that you are just another human being on the earth. We may be very smart, learned, rich, and intelligent but at the end of the day we are just a human being like everyone else who needs to eat, have a place to live and have relationships. So rather than concentrating on our achievements and being egoistic if we take ourselves lightly we can do better and be happier.
“A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.” ~Benjamin Franklin
The basic premise of our life is to be happy irrespective of whats happening around us, or with us. There may be times when this would be difficult but if we follow some of these suggestions I am sure we should be in a good position to train our minds and live a better life.
What do you think? Do you have any other ways to change your life that you can think? Feel free to share